This might end up being one of the most critical moment in my life; the moment when I finally decide what my dreams are and chase them.
I apologize in advance that this might end up being written in a story format but what can I say I am a storyteller at heart. I would also like to make a disclaimer that this post is purely my opinion and is not factual and as such shouldn't be taken as one. This piece is going to be split into two parts, the first part is the problem and the second part is the potential solution. I say potential because I am testing it out and I am not 100% sure it would work but I am a woman of faith none the less. Past I have recently graduated (well not technically, my graduation is in 3 weeks) and I am frequently asked the same questions: "What are you doing now?" "Where do you see yourself in a couple of years time? "Are you going back to Nigeria?" Mostly from well wishers and I often feel ashamed that I just don't know anymore. What happens when you realize your dream is not exactly how you pictured it and although you are lucky to have a taste of it, you are even more lost than ever? I don't know if it is reality sinking in or just the initiation that comes with coming of age but this isn't what I imagined my life to be like at 21. I guess you are wondering what my dream is and to be honest I just want to help a lot of people and I have a billion (maybe this is a slight exaggeration but you get the point) ideas of how I want to achieve them but I am unsure of the particular path I need to take. I am quite skeptical of charities and their potential impact and I'm scared if I end up taking the politics route I might lose myself, so you can imagine my predicament. The last question to me is actually the most painful and it is painful because I love Nigeria with all my heart and it hurts me to see how my country is. Do I want to go back? Yes but what will I go back to? The economy right now is not the best and everyone I speak to is complaining about how tough the country is and to be honest I don't want to stay in the UK. I am not saying this because I think UK is a bad country but my heart lies with Nigeria and my desire is to see it grow and flourish. The UK has taught me almost everything I know and has probably had a greater impact on the kind of woman I am today as I have lived in the UK most of my life. However the way things are looking, I might end up having to stay here longer than I expected. I was talking to my best friend the other day and I was telling her I feel like I identify very heavily with being an immigrant as I feel stateless. Stateless in the sense that I don't particularly want to be in the UK because my passion as I mentioned earlier is to be part of Nigeria's development story, however I can't go to Nigeria right now because circumstances will not permit me. I often wonder whether if I would end up changing things.... Solution So I recently went to a talk about extremism in the UK and youth activism and I asked one of the speakers this question: "Extremism and racism has always existed but has just evolved over the years, do you think that we would ever get to a point in society where we are truly diverse with no racism and if not what is even the point of trying?" The question was quite pessimistic I know but as I said earlier I am unsure about the impact of things and the potential change I could make. Her answer however changed my life, I know it sounds dramatic but it changed my perspective of things. She said: "To tell you the honest truth I don't think that we would ever leave in such a society and it's probably because I am a realist and there are times I feel like there is no point trying. However I have come to appreciate the small changes, even if it is just me changing someone's perspective I am happy with that" The key message I got from her response was to not ignore the small impacts I make. I often like to think big and dream big but I can't despise my humble beginnings. Reflecting upon that I realize I have made a lot of impact in my small little ways, whether it is by just being open minded in a debate with someone, or sharing my passion for Nigeria with others or the various projects I have done through creative outlets, my career or research. I came to an epiphany that I have been a little harsh on myself and guess had too much expectations that I couldn't live up to. I am still not 100% sure about my dream or the path I am going to take but all I am sure of is that I would make peace with what my present situation is and not fret about the future. I guess life is a journey and it is OK for me to not 100% know where I will be in 5 years and to be honest who really knows? Life happens sometimes and throws us off but I won't give up my dream to help those that are marginalized and I will achieve it one small step at a time. Wish me luck! Steph
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Image courtesy of Stephanie Itimi Hello World, I will be conducting a mini series/collection of folk stories in Nigeria. The aim of this project is to highlight the diversity and similarity in folk stories from various parts of Nigeria. The project hopes to preserve and educate people about this part of the Nigerian history as well discussing the morals behind them and how they differ from the society we live in today. Stay tuned and as always feel free to comment. PS: If you have a folk story you would like to recommend to this series/project, please feel free to share by emailing me on [email protected] Steph I
Nigerians have a malignant attitude towards offenders, although they have always been very apathetic of their own mental health, the carelessness about the mental heath of offenders is extensive. It is no surprise that in a country with minimal interest in basic human rights concepts, such as good mental health; going to prison may just be a death wish and the equivalent of a suicide mission. Nigeria chooses to forget that even prisoners need their sanity.
While prison seems like a better alternative to jungle justice; which is the very heinous act of a vigilante community taking revenge on a petty criminal, usually by violent physical and verbal assault on the offender, it is merely a longer more gruesome route to bereavement. The basic Nigerian prison cell does not have a bed, blanket or toilet. Prisoners are made to sleep on hard ground, eat and excrete in the same place. These prisoners are forced to live in inhumane conditions and disease riffled environments. Inmates fall ill and often die due to lack of medical assistance. Some inmates are already dead before they even fall ill. This raises a question on whether the Nigerian public want offenders to simply be punished rather than corrected and rehabilitated into society? Fatoye et al., (2006) study into psychological characteristics as correlates of emotional burden on incarnated offenders found that less than half of them reported enjoying good mental health in prison while 3.7% gave a previous history of mental disorder before their imprisonment. Over 80% of the inmates responded highly on the depression sub-scale. Whether Nigerian prisons are effective at rehabilitating prisoners is suspect to me. However I do understand its impact in neglecting mental health amongst prisoners. It is unknown to me if psychological screenings are performed before offenders are put in prison. Previous studies suggest that many offenders who have mental disorders had this prior to being convicted and this state of mental health worsen through the Nigerian prison system. It is important to know a persons history of mental health before being put in prison, this helps with the process of rehabilitation. It is common knowledge that over two thirds of the prisoners in Nigeria have not been convicted and are yet to go to trials. Therefore prisons are overpopulated with ‘suspects’. Overcrowding in prisons not only affects the economic budget but also individual’s mental health and stability. Overcrowding results in a deprivation of appropriate rehabilitation of individuals in prisons with very limited resources and staff. The psychological well being of criminals in prison is highly neglected, especially with an over populated prison. Most offenders display an enhanced level of depression and anxiety in comparison to the rest of the population. This long awaited process before the trial can be very daunting. It often leads to periods of high anxiety and depression. Very little is said about the gross injustice and psychological abuse that takes place in prisons. Going to prison anywhere has an overwhelming distress on mental and emotional wellbeing. It is important to understand how the prison environment can affect psychological health in order t o implement appropriate programmes and delivery. One of the things that diminish when convicted as an offender is self-esteem and self worth. This is because of the dehumanising way that inmates are treated by the community, government and prison system. Apart from internal factors such as feeling of guilt and disappointment, once inside they are stripped of any personal identity and are tortured through interrogation. They are forcibly broken through the system that makes no attempt to build them back up ‘correctly’. There is also a correlation between time in prison and self-esteem, the longer time spent in prison or awaiting trial results in a lower self-esteem as there is a feeling of absolute abandonment and exclusion from the outside world. Guards and prisoners are known to have an interesting power dynamic. This self-esteem tends to be further reduced if there is an abusive relationship between guards and inmates. Guards are likely to try and prove that they are in control and will treat offenders with very little respect. Subsequently, inmates begin to feel less important in society and have no zeal for life. Prisoners also have a fear of leaving prison and bracing the world, most times they are sent back without any proper rehabilitation, education or job and are left to their own devices. Prisoners who were homeless will go back out to the streets and will be left worse off then when imprisoned. Ogbozor and Odoemena (2006) suggest that life becomes worse for ex offenders after leaving prison. The Nigerian public are not considerate of mental health, and are often reluctant to consider psychological health or seek psychiatric treatments for reasons that are largely due to inadequate education on mental health. Mental disorder in Nigeria appears to be a myth until it happens close to home. Nationally, views on mental disorders are unfavourable, and as a result are either disregarded or generally understood as ‘madness’. Often times these mental disorders are credited to traditional or spiritual reason. A society that is afraid of mental disorder and does not deliberate mental health will inevitably omit it when dealing with offenders, a pariah, and the least protected people. Temi.F For the last few years, education for me has been less about academics, and more about inspiration. I think after a while in the education system, there needs to be a safe transition from simply educating students for academic achievement to inspiring people that are passionate about making an impact in society.
1. After a while, we can learn by ourselves. We can pick up a book, read and understand. We don’t need teachers to teach, we need them to inspire us. I know this because during my college years, we had this teacher who never taught us anything. He’ll sit there and talk about the world the whole day. Just the way he talked about it made you want to know for yourself. So you’ll go home and research, read, study, analyse and criticise so you can have something to say to him. I got my highest grade on this course. 2. Trying to just get the grades is limiting. You don’t explore because you tailor your education towards achievement and sometimes, the teacher, rather than learning and truly seeing what we can do. In my case, I spent the whole two years trying to please the teacher and understand how she marks and grades us. I got a C overall on the course. It was a nightmare. I wasn’t learning psychology, I was learning how to please her. 3. Our teachers believing in us is probably our best bet for success, not only in education but in our lives. My music technology teacher is the greatest of all time. When I went to his classes, he never spoke to me like I couldn’t do something or understand production or read music. Trust me, I was insecure about my music tech skills because I only had performance and live training. I didn’t just learn music technology and production, I learnt about myself. That I could extend and stretch myself. I got top marks for all my productions but my theory sucked. And he didn’t even mind or put pressure of me as long as I could understand it and do it. Thank you Mr. Hurst for always believing in me because you gave me that attitude like I can do anything. 4. No one inspires or motivates you at university. Welcome to a life of depression and anxiety and uncertainty. This is where you come to lose your dreams and then find it again. No, but really, welcome to hell. Temi F I have finally broken my fear of writing. I don’t know why but this year I really felt the need to hold back, scared of what I might say or how much o me I might share to the internet world. Recently I had a conversation with an old friend who told me I need to share my thoughts and perspectives to others, that knowledge wasted is wasted wealth. So here I am sharing lessons I learnt in 2015, these are not facts but I thought it might help someone.
Lesson 1: Don’t change your personality based on the way people treat you Earlier this year I began to realise my character was changing for the worse, I was shutting people out and reciprocating the way people treated me. So if you weren’t the nicest person to me, you would have experienced the backlash. This made me not like my character for a while because I wasn’t being myself and it made people feel like they were walking on eggshells with me. HUGE WARNING, this path is a path to isolation and loneliness. I learnt changing my personality to a defensive one because people treated me unfairly didn’t solve anything. My best friend once told me that “when people react to you in a negative way it has more to do with them than you”. Lesson 2: Self-discovery is a lifelong journey Honestly I thought I would have my life sort of figured out by now. In 2014 I really spent a lot of time getting to know myself and my position in terms of my spirituality, career and relationships. This gave me an assurance that I knew myself, but boy was I wrong. 2015 taught me that we as human are always changing as well as circumstances and environment. Self-awareness is a life-long journey because the person you are at 20 is not the same person at 40. Lesson 3: Burning bridges is stupid because you will still meet the person. I can honestly say that I learnt my lesson very well, I don’t know what came over me but this year, for both dumb and genuine reasons I decided to stop talking to people. The funny this is meeting the individuals later is quite awkward. Life is too short to hold such grudges and at the end of the day when you analyse the situation 90% of the time it is not that deep and you lose potentially great friendships. Lesson 4: People have their own problems too Sometimes we get caught up with our own problems and expect people to be there for us in a certain way. The issue is sometimes people don’t meet our expectations. This doesn’t mean that they don’t care but they have their own issues and don’t have the capacity to be 100% there for us at that moment. Lesson 5: Live a life of possibilities The statement is quite self-explanatory. DON’T PLAN YOUR LIFE. This is a mistake I had to learn the hard way when things didn’t go according to plan. Lesson 6: Family is key This year I grew to really appreciate my family both nuclear and extended. They are amazing and when time are tough are most of the time your main and consistent cheerleaders. These are my top 6 lessons I learnt this year, boy o boy has it been a tough year but I’m still standing. I’m thankful to God for seeing me through and eagerly awaits the joy waiting for me in 2016. Stephanie Itimi I was just looking back at my year, and I was disappointed because i was consumed only by the lamentable things that occurred during this time. It took me a while to remember that I am always to be grateful. There is always something to learn, and this year I learnt it all the hard way. This is a list of some of those things; some of these will be elaborate, whilst the others, not so much.
Temi. F Hello everyone,
I have decided to extend the 'Things I Can't Tell My Father' series. It has now been opened for people to contribute their own take on the topic. I will start posting the contributed pieces early next year (2016). I'm really excited about this, if you would like to submit a piece, you can email me- [email protected]. Kindest regards, Temi Fadahunsi It’s always very difficult to put our emotions into words, simply because we do not feel the entirety of one emotion at any given time. We often feel a fusion of different emotions towards a certain situation or just general circumstances in our lives. Similarly our lives and who we have allowed ourselves to be as individuals is not reduced to one aspect of our nature or ability but combines internal and external cues. Therefore it is not astonishing that once in a while all of these things can be tremendously overwhelming, especially the feeling of the inability to get ahead with consistent mishaps from every direction.
However, it is most fundamental that we understand that a relationship with God does not equate a life without issues, but rather changes our attitude and perception towards adversity and this gives us the ability to live above our predicament. Walking with God allows the understanding that as a result of ‘sonship’ we will be chastened and disciplined which could also come in the form of trials and tribulations. We quickly forget the promises of God when we are going through these trials and our hearts sometimes begins to turn from Him. We must make every effort to not be consumed by pain but to learn through it all the while remembering why you chose to respond to His call. It is greatly disheartening to know that it is possible to know God and still be considerably depressed, anxious, disappointed with life, hopeless or ultimately ‘numb’ because caring hurts too much. The key to overcoming is to have the willingness to overcome. It’s okay to not always be alright but it’s not okay to be completely broken that is becomes comfortable for us. We should aim to see ourselves the way God sees us. Aspiring and having a desire to push no matter what our circumstances are, and understanding that where we are in our lives is not the end for us. We are only hopeless when we no longer have a will or zeal to become better people. Let your heart know that it is remarkable in all its efforts. And live a life of possibilities. Temi.F Hello,
I am starting a new poetry series which has long been in the works and as a result is clearly over due. I have allowed self doubt and procrastination to take front row in my life. I have also found it especially difficult to juggle all the things in my life and find a perfect balance. I feel as though I received the name of the series before I actually received any of the poems. So I decided to go along with the Holy Spirit and name it 'Things I can't tell my Father'. The series will explore themes of death, church,doubt, dreams, trials and spirituality. Temi F. Prior to this, she was asking about whether I celebrated christmas or not because I had told her that I was a Christian, in which I replied no. She then asked if I celebrated Eid or Ramadan, in which I replied no again. Then she proceeded to ask me if I fast and I replied yes, also explaining to her that I pray too.
Me: Do you pray? Her: Yes Me: How do you pray? Can you show me how? Her:…(looking confused) Me: Who do you pray to? Her: Allah Me: What do you pray about? Her: My illness Me: Oh you're sick? Her: Yes (after a while, asking eagerly, as though she had been meaning to seek exterior opinions) Do you think I'm normal? do I look normal to you? Me: (cowardly) Well you act like me so I'll have to say yes (only after I replied did I realise that I had made a douche move of insisting that I was the definition of normal) Me: What do you pray for in regards to your illness? Her: I ask that they let me move out so I can live with my husband. I want to be able to do the things I want with my life. Temi. F Have you ever left lost and unsure?
This was me exactly 4 months ago. A newborn in Christ, I was unsure about everything, being born again was my life literally. I chose Christ and abandoned everything I knew, the problem with this for me was I allowed God to destroy everything about my past, but expected the rebuilding of me to be done in a day. Like a newborn baby, I needed time to grow but me being the overzealous character I am. I decided to take matters into my own hands and came into contact with Religion. Being religious is putting your salvation into your own hands and that's why we feel so frustrated when we don't get things right. All these factors as you can tell led to me having identity crisis, having to constantly question my salvation. Not knowing how to act, and most especially trying to mimic other Christians. The constant question used to drive me to insanity "Am I christian enough", I kept constantly comparing myself to others. Comparing my salvation, revelation, serving and even gifts. I didn't like contemporary gospel music, I learn more watching a cartoon or a movie interpretation than the normal YouTube sermons. I used to beat myself and tried to change who I was. How did i overcome this? Through God's love, I realized that what makes me different is not a burden but a blessing. The key thing is to let go and let God. Here are some verses that helped me: Comparing yourself to others? Romans 12:4 For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function Ephesians 4:16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. 1 Corinthians 12:12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. Worrying about your Salvation? John 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:16 You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Struggling in Sin? John 8:11 She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more. Deuteronomy 4:29 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. Joel 2:12 That is why the LORD says, "Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning I pray that everyone who read this shall be blessed. Lord I pray that you shall do the work that needs to be done in each and every soul that encounters this post. Want to talk to me? Email: [email protected] Name: Stephanie Intelligence in itself is a controversial topic. There is no certain definition of intelligence, It can be said to be a single general ability and also a component of many different abilities. One thing is agreed on, and that is, intelligence is the capacity of learning, it is the ability to understand complex ideas and reasoning with a high mental capacity.
Measuring intelligence has become a highly important ritual in modern day schools, it helps with the appropriate ‘sifting’ of students according to their perceived abilities inferred from their test results. The average intelligence on an IQ test range is around 90 to 115 and this is where majority of people fall into. Who is the superior gender? Studies find that men generally overestimate their IQ more than women do and would also rate men’s intelligence as higher than women overall. Psychologist suggest that men and women both have the same average intelligence but men are slightly smarter than women. There are 2 apparent reasons for this- Evolution and Biology. Evolution Men have better spatial awareness. Evolutionary psychologists have put this down to the idea that men were hunters and therefore developed advanced spatial cognition than women who were expected to stay home and watch the children. Another reason for this advancement is due to the testosterone hormone. Evidence shows that even women with higher testosterone do better on navigation tasks. Generally women manage to make up for this glitch through the use of common sense by memorising various landmarks. Biology Studies that compared brain mass and volume in women and men find that women have smaller brains than men. The average weight of the male brain is about 12% bigger that a woman’s brain, which unfortunately leads some psychologists to assume women as the inferior gender. There are different brain activities between men and women when solving some tasks. For example, in solving mental arithmetic tasks, men have higher dorsal stream activation on the right intra-perietal sulcus, which is needed for mathematical cognition. There has been an overall rise in IQ between men and women but women seem to be raising faster, well according to James Flynn, women used to be -5 points behind men. Now this increase may be due to social changes and the rise in women’s liberation and equality, women have more value and stance in society and as a result are encouraged just like men to do well in education, whereas beforehand it was more appropriate for women to only be bothered with domestic work. Some tests find women to be slightly smarter than men or vice versa, but ultimately there is no significant difference between intelligence of men and women. What this means In simple terms, men and women have pretty much the same level of intelligence on all grounds and are both capable of doing the same things. Temi.F Whilst fixing her a meal in the kitchen...
Her: They got them Me:… Her: They got them all, at the supermarket (pointing towards her window) Me: (unsure how, but I knew what she was talking about) Her: They killed them all, them brothers, in a fire, they're not safe to be walking around this earth Me: (still gathering my thoughts on the most appropriate response and nodding all the while) Her: All of them, plus their sister. They got them. Now realising she had been a little misinformed and a severe lack of time conjured up with my chicken heart, I didn't have it in me to begin to explain. May the Lord bring peace to the heart of Paris, to the relatives of the victims, anyone who witnessed it, those who worked on the case and those who said a prayer. Temi. F Sitting in my kitchen with my hot chocolate and rich tea biscuits whilst watching SimplyFeli (check her out, her intimacy with God is just so motivating) I just got the biggest revelation. I have a group of friends, who I am around a lot. I mean a lot. We live together basically. And when I am with these friends, I notice that my desire begin to change (naturally), my hunger for intimacy with God begins to decrease. My willpower also diminishes. So this group of friends, it’s not like they are not Christians, however it is our goals and pursuits that are different. From that I just want to make a reminder of how profound it is to be around those who are pursuing similar goals as you are, who hunger after what you hunger. Now, guys this is not to say drop err’ body who isn’t in alignment with you but there are friends that you have who are friends, and there are friends that you have that are points of influence, your inner circle maybe. However you wish to refer that set of people to. It is key that your points of influence should mirror and inspire you.
As much as we all know this, it is so easy to forgot in the midst of the cool people that you chill with, the crazy banter that you all have. This is all very well and dandy, however we must find that balance of friends with similar minds and ambitions who have crazy banter. That's all from me anyhoo! Linda A. Church VS Mental Disorder Its upsetting to see anyone, believer or otherwise in vicious cycles with masturbation, sickness, gossip, idleness, pride, witchcraft e.t.c but there are even more intense issues which are not as popular as the ones that were mentioned before. We promote transparency, but we really only want to hear about every other brethren's sexual escapades or any other way a brother/sister might have fallen into sin, so that we can pull out our exhausted, but still especial scriptures and try to 'fix' them. We have ignored mental illness in the body of Christ because they are not as easy to 'fix' or deal with. Many of us struggle to understand mental disorders outside the spiritual realm and so we can only demonise it. Perhaps if we just stop to think that people in the body of Christ are dying because they are unable to reach out for help due to the stigma attached to mental disorders, this is why we always hear heinous stories about one outlandish bishop committing suicide or this upcoming pastor molesting little boys. We need to make it normal to have safe conversations not just about our action but our thoughts and feelings too. If the Church really is for the sick, let us include ALL illnesses. As christians we need to be aware of the realities and possibilities of mental illnesses within our community and find real and efficient ways to deal with it (Gal 6:2). We have made mental disorder so preposterous to even discuss among ourselves and avoid it all cost because of our pride and ignorance on the matter. We have persuaded ourselves that we are immune to it, when the bottom line is that we are very susceptible to it. I know that we believe as christians that God can change our hearts and renew our minds (2 Cor 5:17), but a lot of these things do not happen supernaturally; they begin with us helping each other. We also forget that our mind will be the first place that the devil will try to attack as to distort our views on our identity and on Christ, impairing our emotions and visions trying to render us helpless (1 Pet 5:8). Also having to maintain the balance between the truth of the word of God and our salvation through Christ and living an everyday life making sure that we stick out like a sore thumb without the comforting Spirit of the Living God seems like a recipe for disaster. Existing in distinction through the Holy Spirit and carrying on being in the world and not a part of it is really a lot to comprehend. Especially with many of us not knowing how to be led by the Spirit and struggle to walk by the Spirit and in many instances in life we quench Him when we feel that we can and give in to our flesh (Gal 5:16-17 ,Rom 8:14, 1 Thes 5:19). This as a result can be very detrimental for our mental stability and we may begin to develop affective disorders (these are dramatic changes and extremes of moods), such as manic disorder, depression and anxiety (notably when we feel like we have failed as children of God to connect with him and/or have fallen into sin). Having an affective disorder will most likely lead you into sin if not already keeping you there and push you further away from the Father Dealing with affective disorders:
Anxiety: Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Hebrews 13:6 So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Depression: Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Revelation 21:4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Psalm 30:11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness Manic disorder/Bipolar: Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Psalm 62:6 He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. Micah 7:8 Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. Everyone experiences feelings of anxiety and sadness at points in their life. However, some people find it harder to control their worries and irrational thoughts. When this increases and becomes constant that it actually interfere with your daily activities, it then becomes an issue and a disorder. The feelings and emotions are very real to the sufferer. We need to do better as a body to cater to the needs of all people on every level of need. God is a God that heals. I believe in prayer and faith more than anything, but let us use wisdom. In giving advice in situations like this, I suggest that we avoid making our experiences the threshold for other people. And if you feel as though someone's mental disorder is spiritual be very cautious about suggesting or implying this directly to them without full influence and direction from God and spiritual leadership. Ultimately our aim is to save more souls not lose them. Testimony Having been delivered of anxiety, I know all the turmoil and side effects that come with it. My first anxiety attack was when I was twelve (I was always the nervous/afraid child). My older cousin had managed to convince me that I had been poisoned (she was very mentally unstable), now believing that I was going to die soon, my whole body went into overdrive, I first got soaking wet off sweat in an instant, my heart was beating faster than I could handle, I got very dizzy, my legs felt like spaghetti, my stomach started to well up and it couldn't decide if I wanted to throw up or poop, by now I couldn't breath and my chest was so tight. I remember looking around the room and everything felt unreal and I was wondering why no one was helping me. Within the next 30 mins everything began to cool down and I realised that I was going to live to see another day. Every anxiety attack since then ALWAYS felt like I had been poisoned. By the time I turned sixteen and started college they got worse, they became more often and went on for longer. I had previously come from a background where I had been overly sheltered but not protected and wasn't allowed to do anything outside of home and not many things inside. My living situations changed and I suddenly had a lot more freedom than I needed. So trying everything for the first time was painful. The week before I got saved, I had my last anxiety attack, it was the longest the one and the most intense. It felt like i had panic attack after panic attack after panic attack. This very anxiety attack would have caused me to miss a true experience of God moving in my life if I had succumbed to it. I wouldn't know the people I do today, I wouldn't be a member of Qadosh Kingdom Movement and I definitely wouldn't be saved. The worst thing about having anxiety is how many things it prevents you from doing. You live in regrets of all the thing your mind won't allow you to do. Even when I first got save, sometimes I would become so afraid of being afraid and I would try to help God by not putting myself in situations I knew would obviously make me panic. Which I know now that I did from pride, thinking that I could do anything through my own strength and I quickly learnt the consequences of that. I also neglected the promises of the Lord for me as well as insulted God's sovereignty as if to tell him that he is unable. Now that I have exchanged my mind and spirit for His, I no longer live in fear of anything. (Yes satan, you can cross me out on that one). I pray that you go well and the peace of the Lord is eternally yours and that he may give you wisdom to work out all things. Temi F Stephanie Itimi I had a rare experience today to work with the BBC on a discussion that explores the life of a youth from an African perspective. The discussion involved questions like "Do we see a future for us in our respective countries". I'm from Nigeria and personally I do see myself going back, this could be due to the fact I was born there or maybe because I was brought up with the mentality of remembering where I came from. Nonetheless I could 100% say that Nigeria is a place I see myself working and starting a life. I think it’s extremely selfish for me not to give back. People often complain about how corrupt African countries are but no one really takes the initiative to really be part of the solution. So we have a situation where we have too many analysts and very few activists. There are various ways of helping and being part of the solution, I for one want to go back and work for a development sector that carter to projects that are very crucial to the infrastructure of Nigeria. I believe that closely monitoring these projects and making sure that every penny is being spent well, would increase the infrastructure in Nigeria. I would love to put my degree and hopefully masters to good use and work to increase the economic performance in Nigeria. However I'm not naive to the obstacles I'm bound to encounter, from sexism to social insecurity. I've lived in the UK for most of my life (12 years to be exact) and you can argue that I've been brought up with western customs. It would be hard adjusting to the Nigerian way of life, I would need to learn its culture and customs all over again, and nevertheless it’s an adventure I'm more willing to take. My experience with the BBC is one I'm not going to forget in a hurry, working with talented people who are experts in their field was a huge learning experience. I loved the sense of family unit you get working there and the respect given. They are always ready to listen to what you have to say and you are given the freedom to truly express yourself creatively. I was opportune to work there as an intern and I must say it was one of the best decisions I've made. I appreciate everyone who made my time there special and worthwhile and I'm grateful for the lifelong friends and mentors I've acquired. Christiana Harrison Today I had a chance to take part in a little segment on whether I would like to go back to my home country in the future to work. This has totally been a new thing for me, speaking on the radio but at the same time it was a really good experience, working with and talking with other people who views differed from mine but were passionate neither the less. The BBC staff were amazing and friendly, and never once did they discredit or lead us in a direction where they felt the question/answer should stem from. Being able to put your point across and taking part in something like this really does help motivate you to do more in terms of defending and helping your country, today's platform gave the freedom of being able to say something that you hope will affect this generation to do more concerning where they are from whether they choose to go back or not. Either way this was a great opportunity and I hope todays youths are aware of the benefits from it. As to whether or not I would go back to Nigeria in the future is still undecided, mainly because I would still like to see change and growth in Nigeria, I would like to see stability, a new era before I consider going back to fully live there myself, but I do understand that in order for that change to happen I also need to do something about it as an individual, so I do plan to invest in Nigeria, invest in my family in Nigeria and in businesses in Nigeria, because let's not misunderstand they're a lot of smart people in Nigeria, we just have to give them that push and that incentive to do better and to want to be better.
Interesting video concept, as it makes you realise the little things in which we take for granted. A few home truths were hit during this video. The sad truth is that we live in a selfish generation, in which I too play a part in. We are lucky to live in a society (western) that even though it is many much flawed, provides the basic necessity that we as humans need. Please place significance on the word need. It makes you think and evaluate yourself, what do we place as need and want in our life’s. Capitalism and effective marketing has blurred the line between need and want, making us put significance on the things we want rather than what we need. Ask yourself, when was the last time I actively had a positive impact on someone else, like being a supportive friend.
After all the Chanel, LVs, Gucci and all the other designer named brands, ask yourself a question are you truly happy and content. The sad truth is that most of you would reply No, because there’s always going to be something that you want and issues that are clearly unavoidable. I study economics which is the management of limited resources for infinite wants, which highlights the lack of contentment that we have as a society. We have turned into a generation of consumerism, where self-worth and identity is measured by their material worth rather than the character of a person. This leads into issues such as insecurities, debt, crime, etc. which many are now faced with. I’ve always had a philosophy that giving is better than receiving, which means putting others needs before yours. My faith as a Christian reinforces this point, here’s a few verses that highlight the importance of helping those in need: Acts 20:35 In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to re Philippians 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Matthew 25:35-46 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you? There is pure joy when you genuinely help people. This could be as little as helping an old person carry heavy groceries or taking the time to talk to a homeless person. The little you do can really go a long way. UK Food Waste Facts & Statistics states that almost 50% of the total amount of food thrown away in the UK comes from our homes. We throw away 7 million tonnes of food and drink from our homes every year in the UK, and more than half of this is food and drink we could have eaten. According to WRAP UK “the cost of this unused clothing is around £30 billion”. Have a think of how you can turn your waste into a blessing. This is something that applies to me as it’s given me a rethink of how I can help and bless others. Stephanie Itimi |
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November 2016
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