I have finally broken my fear of writing. I don’t know why but this year I really felt the need to hold back, scared of what I might say or how much o me I might share to the internet world. Recently I had a conversation with an old friend who told me I need to share my thoughts and perspectives to others, that knowledge wasted is wasted wealth. So here I am sharing lessons I learnt in 2015, these are not facts but I thought it might help someone.
Lesson 1: Don’t change your personality based on the way people treat you Earlier this year I began to realise my character was changing for the worse, I was shutting people out and reciprocating the way people treated me. So if you weren’t the nicest person to me, you would have experienced the backlash. This made me not like my character for a while because I wasn’t being myself and it made people feel like they were walking on eggshells with me. HUGE WARNING, this path is a path to isolation and loneliness. I learnt changing my personality to a defensive one because people treated me unfairly didn’t solve anything. My best friend once told me that “when people react to you in a negative way it has more to do with them than you”. Lesson 2: Self-discovery is a lifelong journey Honestly I thought I would have my life sort of figured out by now. In 2014 I really spent a lot of time getting to know myself and my position in terms of my spirituality, career and relationships. This gave me an assurance that I knew myself, but boy was I wrong. 2015 taught me that we as human are always changing as well as circumstances and environment. Self-awareness is a life-long journey because the person you are at 20 is not the same person at 40. Lesson 3: Burning bridges is stupid because you will still meet the person. I can honestly say that I learnt my lesson very well, I don’t know what came over me but this year, for both dumb and genuine reasons I decided to stop talking to people. The funny this is meeting the individuals later is quite awkward. Life is too short to hold such grudges and at the end of the day when you analyse the situation 90% of the time it is not that deep and you lose potentially great friendships. Lesson 4: People have their own problems too Sometimes we get caught up with our own problems and expect people to be there for us in a certain way. The issue is sometimes people don’t meet our expectations. This doesn’t mean that they don’t care but they have their own issues and don’t have the capacity to be 100% there for us at that moment. Lesson 5: Live a life of possibilities The statement is quite self-explanatory. DON’T PLAN YOUR LIFE. This is a mistake I had to learn the hard way when things didn’t go according to plan. Lesson 6: Family is key This year I grew to really appreciate my family both nuclear and extended. They are amazing and when time are tough are most of the time your main and consistent cheerleaders. These are my top 6 lessons I learnt this year, boy o boy has it been a tough year but I’m still standing. I’m thankful to God for seeing me through and eagerly awaits the joy waiting for me in 2016. Stephanie Itimi
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November 2016
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